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50 Funny Cat Jokes and One-Liners For Kids and Adults

If you're a fan of felines and love a completely awful dad joke, then you've come to the right place.

To ensure that you get your fill of both, we've gathered a compilation of cat jokes that, dare we say, are nothing short of purr-fect.

You're probably groaning already knowing that you're in for a pile of bad cat puns and corny one-liners and, yep, you're absolutely right. But even though most of them are, ahem, purr-day bad, we can't help but think they're hiss-terical.

In fact, when it comes to coming up with dumb jokes that are all things feline-related, well, the paw-sibilities are endless.

For instance, what do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas, naturally. Or, did you hear the one about the kittens who got into an argument? It was a cat-tastrophe.

But, wait, there's more. Why did the cop arrest the cat? It was caught littering. What do cats put in their houses? Fur-niture, of course.

By now, we're guessing you get the point and if funny puns and paw-some jokes aren't up your alley, it's best if you take your cattitude elsewhere, because this one's dedicated to all the feline fans out there.

Best Funny Cat Jokes

  • What do you call a stylish cat? A dandy lion.
  • What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
  • What do you call a tiger that likes pickles? A sour puss.
  • Why don't cats shop in stores? They prefer cat-alogs.
  • What is a cat's favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
  • Why don't leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They're always spotted.
  • What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
  • Two kittens got into a big argument. It was a total cat-astrophe.
  • What did one cat say to the other? How do you like meow?
  • What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
  • Why did the cop arrest the cat? It got caught littering.
  • What kind of cats teach college classes? Purr-fessors.
  • What do cats prefer to eat when they go out to dinner? Paw-sta.
  • Why was the kitten unpopular at school? It had a bad cat-titude.
  • Did you hear about the cat that made a mistake? It was a total faux paw.
  • What's a kitten's favorite game? Cat and mouse.
  • Why did the cat bring its watch to the bank? It wanted to save time.
  • Did you hear about the cat that went to the doctor? It wasn't feline well.
  • What do cats put in their houses? Fur-niture.
  • Where do you find a cat with no legs? Right where you left him.
  • Did you hear about the cat that burned dinner? It had to start over from scratch.
  • What do you call a cat that's always telling on you? A tattle tail.
  • How do you motivate a cat? Remind them to stay paws-ative.
  • What's a cat's favorite band? Mew Kids on the Block.
  • What's stranger than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
  • What do you give a cat with allergies? An anti-hiss-tamine.
  • Why are cats always tired on April 1? Because they just finished a 31-day March.
  • How do cats mix cake batter? With whiskers.
  • What kind of felines can bowl? Alley cats.
  • How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
  • What's the best way to catch a catfish? Have someone throw it to you.
  • What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-puss.
  • How do you hire a cat? Put up a ladder.
  • What's worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
  • Did you hear about the cat that ate a bad sausage? It was the wurst.
  • Why can't you play board games in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  • Did you hear about the cat that lost its left legs? It's all right now.
  • Where did the cat go after losing its tail? The retail store.
  • What do you call a fibbing cat? Lion.
  • I once met a giant cat. I didn't know what to say so I used big words.
  • How do cats talk quietly? They whis-purr.
  • Why are cats good at keeping secrets? They don't hiss and tail.
  • Did you hear about the angry cat? It got hot under the collar.
  • Did you hear about the cat that almost fell off a cliff? It lived to tell the tail.
  • What do cat artists usually paint? Self paw-traits.
  • What kind of cars do cats prefer to drive? Fur-arris.
  • Why do people like having cats as pets? They're purr-dy.
  • Why did the cat go to a therapist? It had claw-strophobia.
  • Why do cats make good comedians? They're hiss-terical.
  • What did the teacher say after he caught the kitten cheating? Don't be a copycat.

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